Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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