My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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