I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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