Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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