Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
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