ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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