Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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