If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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