why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
