Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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