When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
