why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
