I'm so fucking centered right now
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize