Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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