i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
...so i touched it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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