Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
