After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YAS. BRING CRAB.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
