let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
