No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
