Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I party with great urgency now.
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