Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
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Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize