Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize