Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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