She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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