As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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