I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
do herpes really smell.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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