I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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