Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
