i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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