Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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