oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize