Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
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Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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