Nicole vs. Life
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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