So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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