: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize