Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
