What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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