Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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