We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
