what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
