No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Farmville is her only friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
