she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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