he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
