i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
smell my finger.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
