Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
