Do you still have your period?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You ate ashes out of my bong
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
