my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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