It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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