I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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