I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Boobs are out for the taking
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
