Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
