he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize