I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
