I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
