I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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