I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
