My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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