I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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