You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
