Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You need Xanax blowdarts
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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