We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
