I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
