I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
