So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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