I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have post one night stand depression
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
