I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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