I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
