He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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