Who wears a wallet chain?!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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