Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
