Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
