its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize