$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
