I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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