You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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