it hurts more in the daytime
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
